Tag Archives: acceptance

A Tale of Two Blackbirds

Its interesting how memories can be triggered from seemingly unrelated sources.
Case in point, it was in coming across this post
http://spatchlogan.wordpress.com/2013/10/07/heartache/
and the subsequent reflections on my own experiences with, and attitudes towards failure that caused the memory of this particular event to surface.

There were two young Blackbirds who’d found their way out of the nest before they were quite ready..
I removed the first quite literally from the jaws of one of my dogs, it was unharmed. After some poking around the nest was located to which the first was returned.
1 down
And now the predatory instincts of my dog were awake and ready.
It was his behaviour that gave away the second, it was in the focus and intensity of his movements that let me know there was another.
He flushed it from some bushes, it escaped under a hedge, I moved infront of him, dropping down to peer under the hedge, to see if I could make a grab for it.
Meanwhile
In the spirit of cooperative hunting, my dog located another gap in the shrubs and stalked into position, almost parallel to me, angled slightly towards my location, crouched low, presumably waiting for me to drive the bird into his path.
Of course, that was not my intention.
But in the end it was the bird who sealed its own fate.
It ran
He pounced
A single squeal
And then silence
In trying to avoid me, it placed itself in the path of the dog.

I’d wanted to save it, to give it a chance of living, or to die naturally. In the context, I didn’t feel death by domestic pet, could be considered natural. A belief I extend to peoples pet cats.

I failed
You would think I would be sad, possibly even a little angry.
I wasn’t
It was instant acceptance.
I tried.
I did not succeed.
Very well then.
That’s it.
Let it go.
Moving on.
You could almost say there was a dismissive quality to it, perhaps born from a life where accepting and learning from failure was a skill acquired early.

About a week or so later, the surviving one successfully flew the nest.
For those who require a happy ending, there you go.

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The Doctor’s in my head.(Why hello there, my Scottish sat nab)

About 2-3 weeks ago I was traveling on a bus, the destination wasn’t to familiar to me, so I was trying to keep my mind on the journey, but as per usual it kept wandering off into the realms of fantasy and general introspection.
Apparently another part of my mind thought this just wouldn’t do.

Enter the 10th Doctor

Ok, ok, so it wasn’t exactly David Tennant, just incase there are any jealous Doctor Who fans considering hunting me down, but the voice was very Scottish and well, male, two things I most certainly am not… Unless I’ve gotten the erge to talk to myself in different accents again, in which case the former is a distinct possibility.
Anyway, Mr. Scottish took to prompting me to pay attention to where I, or should that be we? Were going. After some time, in which I resisted asking someone if we were near our destination, on account of the fact I thought the Scottishness was going to come out, we, I? disembarked at the right stop, and he, disappeared back from wents he came.

I’m not sure what it says about me, that at no point did I find this little episode anything other than intriguing. After all, its not like it is a regular occurance and when it’s happened before, it hasn’t been pleasant, but that’s a post for another time.
Perhaps I’m finally coming to accept these little eccentricities of mine.
That’s a nice thought.